When I started AngelChild Legacies, it was to tell stories such as this. It has been a long time coming that I feel comfortable in sharing this with others.
This is the story of a visit I had that I think was Meica coming to give me a hug. Others can judge for themselves if Meica was really here or not, but it doesn't matter. For me, she was here, and it felt wonderful!
This is from notes from my journal. I don't write in it every day, but when something happens that I don't want to forget, I diarize it. I wrote:
March 3, 1999
Last night, I was exhausted. I fell asleep much earlier than usual. I awoke at about 4:00 AM, having dreamed about Meica. I don't recall what I was dreaming, but when I awoke, I realized she had died and my thoughts of our finding her and subsequent terrible events the hours after her death flooded me. I knew if I lay there, the thoughts would not leave me, so I got up. I returned to bed around 6:00 AM and because I was cold, I remained wrapped in Meica's blanket. I have slept with Meica's blanket with me since her death. I usually have it beside me, but this time I had it wrapped around me. I heard Bill's alarm go off at 6:20AM.
7:00AM. The next thing I recall is being rapped on the head 4 times - like someone was trying to wake me by rapping on my head with their knuckles. I was on my back with my head facing to the right, so the rapping was on the left side of my head. It was rapping as you would on knock on a door. It was loud and hard, and I awoke.
I awoke, wondering why someone would wake me so rudely. I thought it had to be Bill, but quickly realized that he would not wake me so. As I became more aware, I realized that I was alone, neither Bill nor Logan was waking me. I could hear Bill downstairs getting ready for work, and Logan was sleeping. I became aware of a hand, an extended hand reaching from the side of the bed. I took it, and recognized the long, slender, low-muscle-tone hand of Meica. I took it. The hand began pulling away as I held it, and I clenched harder, hanging on with determination, refusing to allow her to leave. She finally relinquished, I could feel the tension between our arms relax as she came back and she hesitated for a moment.
Then, I felt her arms begin to envelop my upper body, like she was gathering me to her chest as I lay on the pillow. It began on my left side, then slowly moved over my head, and to my right side. I could feel it slowly creep around, forming a big 'C' around me. I realized that that was what it felt like, and thought about where her head would be. I thought that if she was hugging me like that, that her head would be above my head, like when you hold a child in your lap and they fold into you, and then I felt her 'chin' rest gently on the top of my head. It was all protecting and all encompassing, and while I was being held, I felt a great tremendous feeling, like a huge conveyance of love and warmth. I basked in it, absorbed it, enjoyed it for I knew it would be short-lived, and said 'Ooooh, thank you!' to Meica and to God for she had finally come to see me.
The feeling I had was so enveloping. It was like a big warm blanket was slowly being pulled around, me, forming a C like a cat. The transference of love was like sitting in a sunny window when you are cold, and you can feel the warmth seep quickly into your body. It was lightening, and a great infusion of love - unconditional love. I felt warmed, lighter, relieved, grateful.
Then it was gone and I noted the position of my hand. They were not where they would have been placed if I had taken Meica's hand. My right hand that had taken hers was the same height on my body where I expected it to be, but more to the right.
I don't know if it was a dream. I really don't think so. It didn't feel like a dream when it was happening. I had no doubt I was awake. I only doubted it because of the position of my hand. The rapping was such an odd experience and distinct. I have never experienced anything like it in a dream. Also, the transference of love was so intense - once again not like anything I have dreamed. In talking to people, (spiritual, healer), another parent (lost her child also, said she received the same hug the moment her daughter died), a friend (has read many books and passed them to me about near death experiences and after death experiences, herself a experiencer), I am coming to think that it really was Meica. Also, in my own mind, this only makes sense if it was not a dream.
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